Do You Have The Guts To Be Candid?

Linda LaitalaBusiness, Employees, Management, SalesLeave a Comment

Linda here.
I am often struck by comments people make when they miss an opportunity to speak up.

“That man pushed right in front of me without even an ‘Excuse me’.  I wish I’d have told him how long I’ve been waiting.”

“She knows I don’t like to reprimand people, so she pushes the rules a hair past the limit and stops, knowing I won’t call her on it.”

“Why does Harriet keep telling stories about people who’ve died from cancer.  It upsets me.  Doesn’t she remember my sister is going through treatment now?”

Sound familiar?   

When we hold back from speaking the truth or confronting a situation that we know should be changed, we end up holding grudges.  We fret about what we should have said or done.  Those grudges “enslave” us.  We are continually upset with the person, but not enough to take steps to rectify the situation.  The offender, on the other hand, may have no idea of this at all.

Instead of granting ourselves permission to speak or act, many of us deny ourselves permission.  We wait for someone else to act and we miss our opportunity.  Stop self-editing and seeking permission from others.  Speak up!

Yes, people issues are touchy, but avoiding adverse behavior will not make it go away.  Instead, say what you think.  Take action. Developing the skill to confront these issues will serve you and perhaps the other person as well.  Confronting the “elephant in the room” can be stressful, but ignoring the situation will only continue to frustrate you.   This piece by Terry Kettering says it all.

“Elephant in the Room”
By Terry Kettering

There’s an elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it.
Yet we squeeze by with, “How are you?” and “I’m fine,” and a thousand other forms of trivial chatter. We talk about the weather. We talk about work. We talk about everything else, except the elephant in the room.

There’s an elephant in the room.
We all know it’s there. We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together. It is constantly on our minds. For, you see, it is a very large elephant. It has hurt us all.

But we don’t talk about the elephant.
Oh, please, let’s talk about the elephant in the room.

For if I cannot, then you are leaving me….
in a room….
with an elephant.

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