I am often struck by comments people make when they miss an opportunity to speak up.

“She knows I don’t like to reprimand people, so she pushes the rules a hair past the limit, knowing I won’t call her on it.”

“Why does Harriet keep telling stories about people who’ve died from cancer.  It upsets me. Doesn’t she remember my sister is going through treatment now?”

“I don’t like sexist jokes; I keep ignoring Fred instead of telling him to stop.”

Sound familiar?

When we refrain from speaking the truth or confronting a situation that we know should be changed, we end up holding grudges.  We fret about what we should have said or done. Those grudges “enslave” us. We are continually upset with the person, but not enough to rectify the situation. The perpetrator, on the other hand, may have no idea that they’ve offended.

Yes, people issues are touchy, but avoiding adverse behavior will not make it go away. Instead, say what you think. Take action. Developing the skill to confront these issues will serve you and perhaps the other person as well. Confronting the “elephant in the room” can be stressful, but ignoring the situation will only continue to frustrate you.

Perhaps we are hoping someone else will speak up, perhaps others are doing the same.  So, stop self-editing and seeking permission from others. Speak up!

Think about how you could respond the next time you’re confronted with an uncomfortable situation.

The road is easier together,

Linda Laitala, President
Raven Performance Group